No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number!

Think about this... No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.

I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Do you realise, that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!) OUCH!!!

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

(Author unknown)


...and a few from Groucho Marx:

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

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